The Axe Affect
by VoldemortsIllegitimateChild
Summary: Ginny wants to play an April Fool’s Day Joke on her brothers, Harry, and Malfoy. So, she tries to may the Axis Potion to make them repulsive to girls but forgets a critical ingredient and creates the Axe Affect! Featuring a love triangle and classic shi
1. The Axe Affect

The Axe Affect

By: VoldemortsIllegitimateChild

Summary: Ginny wants to play an April Fool's Day Joke on her brothers, Harry, and her least favorite Slytherin.  So, she_ tries_ to may the Axis Potion to make them repulsive to the opposite sex, but forgets a critical ingredient and creates…the Axe Affect! Featuring a love triangle and some unlikely pairings! 

Disclaimer: For the first and last time, Harry Potter, and all related characters, settings, and situations aren't mine.  Okay? 

A/N's: Major thanks go to two people.  First, the company responsible for Axe cologne and its hysterical commercials were my inspiration for this fic.  And second, much love to PhoenixRae and her fic I'd Do Anything, which made me consider Blaise as a main character.   Oh, and I picked axis cause it sounded like Axe.   

~*~

          Ginny Weasley pulled the heavy potions book off of its shelf in the back of the library.  It was the sixth book she tried, and she still couldn't find the right prank to play on her brother.  She was probably going to play it on Harry, too, because she was rather mad at him for spilling ink all over her the night before.  So he, too, would face her wrath. 

          "This is it!" she whispered excitedly, "I found it!" She read aloud from the page: "'_The Axis Potion is used often by jokesters and women scorned.  Its effects make men completely undesirable to the opposite sex.  This will be great!"  _

          She decided to use the forgotten broom closet by the Quidditch Pitch to make the potion. It would take a few weeks for the potion to be made, but that didn't matter, as it was still only the beginning of March.   

          Most of the stuff would be easy.  She would have to steal some Squid Solution from the Hospital Wing, but everything else she had.  She would have to start boiling the beetle eyes that night.     

          She used a copying spell on the page, grabbed the clone and raced to her dorms.  She grabbed her potions supplies and raced towards the pitch.  She, of course, wasn't looking where she was going, and ran straight into Draco Malfoy.

          He slowly dusted of the front of his (immaculate) robes.  "Weasley, these robes cost more than your entire house, and now they have to be burned.  In the future, you should watch where you're going, so you don't cover the robes of your betters with Muggle-loving _filth."  _

          "Go to hell, Malfoy," Ginny said angrily before continuing down to the closet.  _And Malfoy makes three people to suffer the effects of the Axis Potion. _

           A short while later, she was stirring the beetle eyes when she spilled a little water onto the page.  "Shoot," she whispered, hurrying to wipe it, not noticing that she inadvertently erased the line she was drying as she did so. A very important line it was, too.  

~*~

          Almost one month later, Ginny was done. "Finally," she muttered.  It was such a pain in the neck to have to miss out on hanging out with her friends to check the Potion.  But it was worth it.  Tomorrow morning, Harry, Ron, and Malfoy would get theirs.  

          The next morning, Ginny woke early to spike the goblets in the Great Hall.  Draco always sat at the head of the Slytherin table.  Harry and Ron liked the comfort of the middle of the Gryffindor table.  She sat next to the spiked Gryffindor goblets to lure Harry and Ron if they looked like they weren't going to sit in the right spot.  

          Sure enough, a few minutes later, Draco came in with his bodyguards, Crabbe and Goyle.  _God, does he go_ anywhere_ without them?_ Ginny thought to herself.  She speculated on this, and decided with all the smartarse remarks Malfoy made, he would need the protection.  

          She rolled her eyes and watched him sit down in his usual seat.  Moments later, Harry, Ron, and Hermione came in as well.  "Oi! Over here!" Ginny called.  As they approached she said, "Hermione, sit next to me, okay?" This left the tainted seats across from her for Harry and Ron.  

          She watched Harry's face closely as he drank.  "Does this taste a bit _funny to you guys?" he asked. _

          Hermione took a sip of hers.  "Mine's fine," she said.  

          "Mine too," Ginny announced.  

          "Mine's not," Ron said.  

          "I think it's just you guys," Hermione said.  

          "Maybe it's your toothpaste," Ginny suggested, mentally laughing at her brother and his friend. 

          Meanwhile, over at the Slytherin table, Draco took a sip of his juice.  

          On his other side, Pansy and Blaise Zabini were arguing over bacon.  "I can't believe you don't like bacon," she said.  "Did you ever even have it?" 

          "When I was seven," Blaise said, "and it was _disgusting_!" 

          "I heard once that taste buds taste every seven years.  Maybe you like it now," Pansy suggested.  

          Blaise glared at her.  "If I have a piece, will you shut up?" 

          Pansy nodded, albeit angrily.  "Great prat," she hissed.  Blaise ate the bacon.  

          "God, it's _awful!" he said.  He grabbed Draco's juice, as it was the closest, and downed it.  _

          "Blaise, that was my drink, not yours," Malfoy muttered sullenly.

          "Sorry, but that bacon was disgusting!  It even made the pumpkin juice taste bad," Blaise replied.   

          Draco finished eating and stood up.  "I'll be leaving now."  Crabbe and Goyle got up to them and they walked down the Great Hall.  As he did, female heads turned to follow him.  Hermione, however, was staring after the dark-haired boy that had been next to him. Shockingly, Ginny felt _herself_ drawn to him.  Ron and Harry didn't notice, but Ginny did.  _What the hell is going on?, she thought to herself.  _

          By this time, Ron and Harry were also done and went to get started at Quidditch.  The same thing happened to them, everyone staring after.  Luckily, Ginny felt nothing more than sisterly affection for her youngest older brother.  Ginny was beginning to get worried.  She looked back over at the Slytherin table where  girls were fighting over Draco's empty seat…the one next to Blaise.  _What on Earth is happening_? "I'm going to the library," she said.          

          Hermione stopped staring at Blaise long enough to say "See you at lunch."  

          Ginny practically flew to the library.  Thankfully, the book was still there.  She frantically flipped through it, trying to find the pages.  She realized then that the potion had warnings on the following page.  

          _If the person is allergic to beetle eyes, the Potion will have no effect on him or her.  _That was irrelevant.  _Forgetting to stir the lacewings _(she did that) _or add the Tropssap Root will result in a reverse effect, know as the Axe Affect_.  Ginny struggled.  She was certain she hadn't even _read about any Tropssap Roots.  She dug through her bag and found her copy.  She looked at the potion recipe in the book, and then at hers.  "It's on there…why isn't it on the copy?" She thought back to anything that might have messed up her copy.  It hit her- she must have erased the line when she spilled water that first day.  "Great," she muttered, "fan-bloody-tastic!" __ But why was Blaise having the same effect? Just another thing for her to figure out…and fast!_

~*~ 

          That's all for now.  I urge you all to review.  I'm not above begging!  _PLEASE REVIEW! _ And I know my writing is **_FAR_from perfect.  Like perfect is a Caribbean island, I'm a tiny floating iceberg in the North Artic. So any constructive critiscm would be appreciated.   **

*Thanks to Miss Purrsalot and Siora, who pointed out I hadn't mentioned Ginny wanting to prank Draco.  Also, in case you were wondering, Blaise is a guy.  I didn't mention that specifically, just said he.*


	2. Dedalus GIGGLE

The Axe Effect

By: VoldemortsIllegitimateChild 

Chapter Two: Dedalus GIGGLE

A/N: The Axe Effect makes Hermione act slightly different.  She acts more like Parvati.  Innuendo runs heavy in this chapter—you've been forewarned.    

~*~

                Hermione sat in her Advanced Ancient Runes class, looking around unhappily.  She wished Harry or Ron was there, but they didn't take it.  Oh well, she thought, even if they did, I still wouldn't have a partner; they'd be together.  The door swung open, and everyone looked to it expectantly.  All of the girls let out happy smiles as Blaise Zabini walked in.  

                Normally, Slytherins and Gryffindors didn't share this class, but due to the lack of interest, the advanced class had people from all four houses.  And all of these people had partners for the project.  Except, it looked like, her and Blaise.  She glanced around the room and saw there were no more empty seats left.  With a small sigh, she pulled her bag off of the chair next to her, and grinning, announced, "There's a seat over here, Blaise." 

                He grinned charmingly, and it took a bit of her self-control not to squeal in ecstasy.  "Hey, how's it going?" he said suavely, sliding in next to her.  

                "F-fine," she said.  She picked up her quill for the table and twirled it in front of her.  "You don't have a partner yet do you?"  

                "I don't think so, considering I don't even know why we need one," he said.

                "Oh, of course, how stupid of me," said Hermione, her cheeks slightly red. "We have a partner project about Elvin Runes.  It should take us about a month to complete it."

                "Then I'd love to be your partner. So, when should we start?" he asked.  

                "Um…how about tomorrow, in the library?" Hermione suggested.  

                "Fine with me," Blaise said.  He turned away then, waving, nodding, smiling and flirting with his many other female admirers, most of whom were giggling.  Hermione smiled to herself, pulled out "Hogwarts, A History," and began reading.  

~*~

                Ginny Weasley pulled out book after book in the library.  She couldn't find the answer to her problems in "_Common Solutions to Potion Problems_", "_How to Solve Your Prank Nightmare_," or in any other of the dozen or so books she had tried.  She threw her quill down in frustration and tried not to scream. 

                "What's a matter, Weasel?  Found out there's no way to turn freckles into Galleons?"  Who else would make such a slur about her appearance and her financial status but Draco Malfoy?   

                Ginny looked up at him, but found that she was unable to answer back.  She stared at him for a few moments.  Then she abruptly turned and walked to a different table.  To an outsider, she looked calm, but on the inside she was seething., not just because Malfoy was a ferret faced bastard, but because she suddenly found herself unable to tell him so.   

                She glanced at her wristwatch (leftover from Charlie; it was brown with a gaudy green dragon on it) and smiled.  She'd been at it for three hours now, and could take a break without feeling too pathetic.  She made her way out of the library, carrying yet another book to read that night.  She was groaning under its heavy weight, and didn't notice the person in front of her until he spoke.  

                "Ah, Miss Weasley, precisely the child I was hoping to find," he said, peering down over her with half-moon spectacles.  

                "You wanted to see me, Headmaster?" 

                "Yes, I did.  But perhaps it would be best if we spoke in my office?"  

                Ginny nodded.  It was now that she beginning to get nervous, but it seemed to her she was not in the place to disagree.  

                They made there way to the office and Ginny sat down in the chair in front of his desk.  "Oh! Lemon drops!" she cried, forgetting herself for a moment.  "May I have one?" 

                "Certainly," Dumbledore smiled.  "I have found that many of my students and colleagues have a strong distaste for them. I am glad I am not the only one at Hogwarts who finds them enjoyable."  

                Ginny sucked on her candy for a minute, waiting for Dumbledore to speak.  When he didn't she asked, "What did you want to speak to me about?" 

                "I try to know as much as I can about the goings on of my students, Miss Weasley.  And it has come to my attention that on the morning of the first you slipped a potion into the drinks of Misters Potter, Weasley, and Malfoy," Dumbledore said, surveying her quietly.  

                Ginny's mouth wanted to speak, but her mind though of nothing to say, so what came out sounded like: "Aaah…uuuh…"  Dumbledore said nothing to interrupt her wordless mumbles.  

                 After what seemed like hours, words came to Ginny's mind and she blurted them out without thinking about them.  "Oh, shit!"  Then, realizing what she said, she clapped her hand over her mouth and looked up at Dumbledore.  

                He gave no indication he had heard her curse at all.  Instead, he continued, "I am also aware that it appears the potion has also affected Mr. Zabini."  Ginny said nothing, so he continued further. "I shall not tell these young men what had happened to them."  Ginny was quite relieved, until "I shall leave that to you, as I leave the task of finding an antidote to you."  Ginny groaned inwardly.  Hopefully this would be punishment enough.  It wasn't.  "I'm afraid I must also give you detention with Mr. Malfoy for a week.  You do know he is the Head Boy?" 

                Ginny nodded.  "That is all Miss Weasley.  I suggest you return to your common room now.  I do hope I'm correct in assuming you are working hard to fix this?"  

                Ginny nodded again, and left.  _Things are just getting better and better, aren't they?_ , she thought sarcastically to herself. 

~*~  

                On the other side of the world, things were going quite well for Ron and Harry, who were shocked to see so many spectators at their Quidditch practice.  The stands were half-filled, which was rare for a practice.  All of the spectators were girls, in groups of twos or threes, giggling foolishly.   The practice ended, and Harry and Ron touched down.  They immediately found themselves surrounded by girls, from all four houses and years.  

                "Gosh, Harry, you're so good!  Could you ride me- I mean with me?" a Ravenclaw asked.  A Hufflepuff pushed her out of the way.  "Can _I take a ride on your broomstick, Harry?"_

                But, maybe for the second time in his life, Ron was not shunted to the side.  

                "Gosh, Ron, you're so good.  Maybe I could see your balls?" a Slytherin said, batting her eyes.  Harry looked at Ron (who's ears where quite red) and raised his eyebrows.   "Um… could you leave us alone so we can get changed?" Harry asked.  

                Giggleing, the girls sauntered away.  Harry and Ron went to the locker rooms.  Ron finished first.   "Want me to wait for you?" he asked.  

                "No, you go ahead," Harry said.    

                "Okay. I'll see you in the Common Room, then," Ron said, walking out.  He was surprised to see Lavender waiting for him.  The Gryffindor girls of his year weren't at the practice.  "Hi, Ron," she said.  They started up towards the castle together.    

                "So.  Hogsmeade's this weekend," Lavender said. 

                "Yeah.  Are you going?"  Ron asked. 

                "Maybe.  It'd be nice to have someone to go with," she said wistfully.  

                "Yeah…" Ron replied absently, thinking of the amazing Wronski Feint Harry had done in practice.  

                Lavender read his thoughts.  "Honestly, Ron, when are you not thinking of Quidditch?" 

                "When I'm thinking of chess and food," Ron said.  "And how much I hate Snape."  

                Lavender grinned at this.  "I haven't gone to Hogsmeade in such a long time," she said.  "It's so pathetic to go alone when Parvati is with Seamus.  I wish I had a boyfriend."  

                The ever oblivious Ron answered, "You will have one.  You're pretty and smart and all of that."  

                "Then why am I always alone?" Lavender asked.  They had reached the Common Room then, but she stood in front of the portrait hole, blocking him.  "Are you going to ask me to Hogsmeade or not?"  

                "Er…do you want to go to Hogsmeade?" Ron asked.  

                "I'd love to," Lavender answered.  

                The Common Room never looked so pretty and warm.  

~*~

_Dear Journal,_

_                Snape's just come in and told me I've to baby sit the little Weasel during her detention.  It'd be bad enough to be watching anyone else research potion theories, but why does it have to be her? _ 

                _Something funny happened today though.  I saw her looking quite frustrated in the library and thought I'd have some fun.  I made a rather funny crack about her not being able to change her freckles into Galleons, and she didn't do anything.  _

_                You know as well as anyone she's grown an annoying backbone over the last year and a half, today it was like she was that same meek girl she used to be.  It's strange, but I like the tough one better.  She had spark, which is something none of the girls in _here_ have.  _

_Until tomorrow, _

**_Draco Augustus Malfoy _**

~*~  

1,544 words!  I feel it should be longer to make up for the weight, but you know what?  Screw it!  Anyways, love all my reviewers lots.  Thought I'd kick a few shout-outs!  

**Gina: **Thanks!  I did. 

**Siora****: You saved me from making a rather big blunder, and I thank you for it.  You rock! **

**Bobby: **We shall see…shall see…shall see 

**Kaitlyn****: Thanks, I love white chocolate.  Especially white chocolate.  Mmm ::drools::  I love wrong reviews.  Could you scrounge one up for me? **

**Heaven's Devil Is Me: **Thanks.  As with Siora, you saved me from a big mistake.  Thanks! Blaise is a guy.  

**Heather M: ** I will be back…challenging Arnold Swhartzenager?  LOL. 

**Life sux:  **Cheer up a bit, man!  But thanks. 

**FRENCHiE-EM0RY**:   I read the first chappie and I may have reviewed, anyway, I thought the sexuality bit was hysterical!  Stupid site experiencing overload.   

**Ohepelss**** Oramtnci: Hope I Spelled your name right.  God, are you trying to make it hard on me?? Dun dun dun! **

**Lipstickandbruises****: Never let it be said funny commercials are pointless!**

**Forbidden:** You went crazy with the copy and paste tools, didn't you??  

**Kitty Felton: **I know!  I totally relate to your review, except all the guys I know that smell good (except one) are complete assholes!!  I had to tell my best guy friend how to put on cologne.  I think the pour kind (w.o spray) was too advanced for him.  

**Kyra**** Invictus Black: Ginny didn't feel like getting 2 years of cleaning the Hospital Wing bedpans.  LOL**

**AtC-dEe**: Gotta love the Axe Effect commercials.  

**Little-kat-girl: **You're much too kind!  
**Update!: **LOL!  Um, you too are no longer allowed to copy and paste.  Thanks!  

**Alcapacien/Quiggles**** :  **::Sigihs:: Can't do that, I'm afraid.  I'm a G/D by heart!   


	3. Those Greasy Slytherins

The Axe Effect

By: VoldemortsIllegitimateChild

Chapter Three: Those Greasy Slytherins

A/N: Okay, Voldie up and disappeared last year, okay?  Oh, and, for the purposes of this story, they have an en suite bathroom.  

~*~

          Hermione and Blaise were together in the library, working on the project, which they had been doing for nearly an hour.  Blaise leaned back in his chair, and grinned at Hermione. He tipped back dangerously.   "Come on, let's take a break," he suggested, reminding Hermione forcefully of Ron.  

          "We still have another chapter to look over," she said, shaking her head.  

          "Is this how you are all the time?" Blaise asked.  "How do you keep managing to save the world if you're always studying?"  

          "It's my studying that _let's_ us save the world," she responded.  

          "Like how?" Blaise propped his head on his hand, his elbow resting on the arm of the chair, the picture of interest.  

          "In first year, Harry and Ron managed to get themselves wrapped up in Devil's Snare.  And I had to get them our.  Or, in second year, I had the piece of paper in my hand, the one that talked about the Basilisk."  

          Blaise raised his eyebrows at the mention of the Giant Serpent.  Like most other students that were at Hogwarts at the time, he had been told only the bare minimum about the Chamber of Secrets, that Harry and Ron went in and saved the girl (her name had never been given; it was top secret).  "There was a Basilisk?" he asked.  

          Hermione explained all that had happened.  Blaise was surprised.  "So, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named was born Tom Riddle?" The name clicked something in his head, and he thought hard.  "My grandfather knew him.  They were the best of friends, he was telling me about him.  He was an orphan, and my grandfather always wanted his parents to adopt him.  My grandfather was nearly You-Know-Who's brother!"  

          "Don't call him You-Know-Who, Blaise.  It's stupid.  It's proving that you're scared of him, that he has a hold over you," Hermione said, tucking her hair behind her ear, and self consciously smoothing her ponytail.   

          "I suppose," Blaise said, his gaze focusing on the window facing the lake, the trees blowing slightly in the wind.  "It's hard, though.  He had the whole world in the palm of his hand, and he crushed it.  Until Potter came along."  

          Hermione thought back to the night she helped save the world.  She had been more terrified then, then she had in her entire life.   And, with each year that passed, something new, and more frightening happened.  But Harry always overcame it.  

          Blaise smiled at her.  "Come on, let's take a walk."  He grabbed her hand and led her away from the table.  She tried to protest, but Blaise was holding her hand, his skin soft, his blue eyes bright, and he smelled like mint.  She couldn't resist…who could? 

          She floated back to the common room an hour later.  She sat down on the couch next to Harry and smiled brightly.  There was a glow about her, and, unless Harry's ears were deceiving him, she was _humming_.  

          "Someone had a good day," he observed, his green eyes looking down at the (rather short) girl next to him.  

          "I _did_.  You know, I always thought working with Blaise would be like working with Malfoy, you know?"  

          Harry thought about this, and realized he would have assumed the same thing.  This was odd, because he had never spoken to Blaise, as far as he knew.  

          "He's not?' he asked.  

          "No, not at all.  He's actually smart! I think I expected him to be stupid, which is odd, because he is in an _advanced_ class with me.  And he's nice, too.  I figured he would be a typical Slytherin, and call me a Mudblood, but he didn't, not even close."  Harry's eyes flashed.  He almost wished Blaise _had_ called Hermione a Mudblood.  Then Hermione would hate him, and Ron could team up with him and beat Blaise up. 

          Hermione continued, not noticing the look on Harry's face.  "He's fun.  After we'd been working for a while, he took me outside for a walk, and I had the best time.  It's been so long since I just left my books behind and had a good time."  

          "Yeah," Harry said uncomfortably. "Ron and I always do stuff, Hermione.  How come you never come with us?"  

          Hermione considered this.  "I don't know.  There's just something about Blaise.  It's something different, a quality about him. You know?"  

          "No," Harry said flatly. 

          Hermione laughed a little bit and stood up.  "I'm going up to the dorms.  Crookshanks has a slight cold, I think, and I want to check on him."  

          Harry nodded.  He watched her disappear upstairs and began to bang his head on the armrest of the couch.  "Stupid Blaise, so smart, so special, so SEXY!" he accidentally yelled the last part out, and felt heat rising on his face as the whole Common Room turned to look at him.  "Uh…hello," he said, waving at them all.  He could hear the rumors starting now.  _The Boy Who Loved Other Boys_- it would be around the whole school in an hour.  He hoped Hermione, who tried to avoid petty gossip whenever possible, would not here about this.  

          Hermione had lied to Harry.  Crookshanks didn't have a cold; on the contrary, he was walking around her legs, purring happily.  Hermione was upstairs, writing in her diary…journal.  

_Dear Journal,_

_    I just spent a few hours with Blaise.  At first we were working on our project, but then we started talking.  About the Chamber of Secrets, of all things, and he took me outside for a walk.  And so we went.  And I had a good time.  A really and truly good time.  Blaise was intelligent, funny, charming, and sweet- the kind of guy every girl wants.  And he was spending time with…me!  It's nice to know there's one guy in this school who knows I'm more than a busy-haired, know-it-all.  _

_    I thought Harry knew it too.  All year, I hoped he would see me as something more, something better then I was.  I was falling for him, fast and hard, like a bowling ball thrown of the __Leaning__Tower__ of __Pisa__.  Harry was always Mr. Perfect…perfect for me, I thought.  But now I don't know. It's strange that I like two boys now, when  I went for a long time (five years longer than Parvati and Lavender) before I felt something for anyone…that was Ron, in sixth year.  _

_    Speaking of Ron, he has a date on Saturday, with Lavender.  I was treated to a play-by-play before I sat down next to Harry.  It was both amusing and annoying, but I have a bad feeling about it.  Something's going to go very wrong on this date, I can tell.  I have good intuitions.  _

          At that moment, Ron Weasley was also thinking about the Date on Saturday.  He was looking through his wardrobes (and Harry's, Seamus's, and Dean's) trying to find something to wear.  He caught sight of his face in the bathroom mirror through the open door and rushed over to it.

          Bathroom mirrors were so much more unforgiving than any other one.  They were smaller and closer to your face and made everything that looked right elsewhere completely wrong.  According to the mirror, the spiked hair he sported was flopping down, his eyes were a dull, nasty shade of brown, and his freckles spelled out LOSER in gigantic letters.  

          "Oh, bloody _hell!_" he moaned.   

          "What's a matter?" Seamus asked, coming in with Dean.  

          "I have a date on Saturday and I look like…like a FREAK!" Ron said, still gazing wildly at the mirror.  

          "No you don't," Dean said, though his voice was covered by Seamus's (very surprised) "_You _have a _date_?" 

          Ron felt a stupid grin make its way across his face.  "With Lavender." 

          Dean let out a hoot.  "Impressive, mate!"  

          Ron turned from the mirror.  "She asked _me_ out!" 

          "No, really," Seamus said, completely disbelieving his friend. 

          "She said, direct quote: 'Are you going to ask me to Hogsmeade or not?'"     

          "When did she ask you out?" Dean asked, appearing to be thinking hard. 

          "After Quidditch practice," Ron answered.  

          "When you were sweaty, dirty, and tired?" Seamus asked. 

          "Yeah, and muddy," Ron replied.  

          "She wanted to date you then, mate, you can't be worse then you are now," Seamus reassured his friend.  

          "Yeah, you're right," Ron said, relaxing.  Then he straightened up again.  "I _still_ don't know what to where!"

~*~

          Ginny was feeling very unhappy.  She was in detention.  She would be for…until she learned how to make an antidote to the potion, which could be a long time.  She had to spend this time with Malfoy.  The one good thing was this: she learned the Axe Effect worked through the nose, and she had stopped hers up.  

          Draco looked at his very expensive silver watch.  "Come on, Weasley.  I know _you_ don't have a life, but I have a date tonight." 

          "Go to hell, Malfoy," Ginny murmured under her breath. 

          "What's that?" he asked suspiciously.  

          "Nothing," Ginny sighed, pulling a large book from the shelf.  

          "Of course you'd pick the heavy one.  Best friends with _Granger_, the resident know-it-all _Mud_-" Draco stopped talking and stared down the wand, slightly shaking in Ginny's trembling hand. 

          "If you say it, Malfoy, I will jam this so far up your arse it'll come out of your _nose_," Ginny hissed.    

          "Calm down, before I take points for threatening a prefect," Draco said, fiddling with his tie, something his father would not have stood for.  Malfoys did not … fiddle.  

          Ginny flopped down, muttering to herself.  "Ooh, Malfoy has a date.  I hope she doesn't regain her eyesight before he picks her up, or she'll go screaming in the other direction."  

          "I heard that Weasley," Draco said.  "At least I can get a date.  You couldn't get one without paying for it, and you're too poor for that, so it looks like your out of luck, doesn't it?"  

          Ginny tossed her hair behind her shoulder.  She used her free hand to flip Malfoy off.  "Hell's waiting, Malfoy.  Don't stand them up."  

          Draco pulled out his journal and began to write.  

_Dear Journal,_

_    I'm stuck in detention with the Weasel.  She's being even more irritable then she used to be, but even that's__and improvement on her scurrying mouse act.  That's the way she acted when Father tried to kill her.  I think it'd make me nervous if she acted like that again.  _

_   Pansy is stalking me again.  When will that girl learn?  I, nor any other male in the universe, will ever feel romantically inclined to her.  I do wish she would stop trying, as it's giving me a headache.  Perhaps I'll leave this open fore her to read, and then she'll leave me alone.  _

_    I'm tired.  As you very well know, I haven't slept well at all.  Father keeps talking of the initiation this summer.  I want this school year to go on forever.   _

_And so I remain,_

**_Draco Augustus Malfoy _**

Ginny watched Draco as he wrote.  His eyelids began to droop, and his head dropped back.  His hair fell from his face.  He looked younger then, and more innocent.  Ginny watched him for a moment or two, forgetting herself.  He looked so different then he did awake.  There was no sneer, no cold, malicious grey that had the potential to be even more mesmerizing then Harry's.  He was completely real then, totally unmasked and naked to the world.  

          Behind her, a large book was dropped by a small first year.  The large boom noise it produced brought her back to life and woke Malfoy up. She did _not_ think he was cute…or innocent, or anything else unless it was negative.

          She checked her walk, feeling sorry for herself because it was more masculine than Malfoy's, and found she could go.  And so she left, and made her way to the dorms.  On the way, though, she realized she was hungry.  She made a left, and walked until she reached the kitchens.

          She was happily eating some pastries when the portrait swung in.  She stopped mid-bite, fearing it was a teacher.  She knew she must look faintly ridiculous, an éclair sticking out of her mouth, and chocolate on her nose.  Someone stepped in, and Ginny's eyes widened in surprise.  

~*~

**That's all, folks!  Only three people reviewed the last chapter, which made me sad, so you deserve the overly long wait!  Hah!  Actually, it will probably be a while for the next chapter too, so yeah.  What's with me having a life?  **

**Ohepelss Oramtnci****: **You and your name.  ::Sticks out tongue:: Thanks!

**Kitty Felton: **None of my guy friends smell good…but they do have hot friends, who have girlfriends.  Why??!! Um…anyway, LOL chokes on a jellybean reminds me of 3 Ninjas.  We see some more Ron-ness in this chapter.  

**Asia****: **D/G kicks royal monkey ass!

**Kristal Scarlett Sparkling: **Thanks!  I never tire of compliments.

So…30 reviews for chapter four isn't too much to ask is it?  It's only seven.         


	4. In a Blaise of Glory

***Whimpers* Don't shoot me! Please? I know it's been um…four months…but I've been having such drama and crap…high school, what a bitch…**

**The Axe Effect**

**Chapter Four: In a _Blaise__  of Glory_******

Ginny looked at Blaise in surprise. "What're you doing here?" 

He grinned at her. "Dark wizards are allowed to be hungry to, ya know. Not that I am one, of course." He strode further in the room, pulled out a chair and sat next to her. "Those éclairs look good, mind if I have one?" He didn't wait for her permission before grabbing one from the tray in front of her. 

"You're Ron's sister, right?" he asked her. 

Ginny rolled her eyes. Of course she was, just look at the hair and the height. "Yes, I am." 

"So you must know Hermione pretty well right? I mean she goes to your house every summer." 

"She's a friend," Ginny answered cautiously, never having spoken to Blaise in her life. 

"What kind of guy does she like?" Blaise said, not looking at her, but instead, focusing on his éclair. 

                Ginny snorted.  Hermione was pretty all right, but this was _Blaise Zabini.  She'd expected to have this conversation with Malfoy before Blaise.  "Well, they have to be smart, that's important to her.  Well, it's not the only thing important to her; they have to be funny too, and a good guy, ya know, nice and polite.  She hasn't really had a very serious boyfriend before, though.  She had a… thing with Ron, but they really are just better as friends," she answered.  _

                Blaise appeared to be thinking about this.  Finally, he took another bite of éclair, and actually waited to swallow before saying "Thanks."  

                Ginny sat shocked…a guy with good table manners.  "You're welcome," she responded. You see, table manners were important to Ginny, very important.  It was imperative that she could eat a meal with the guy without losing her appetite.  Well, it took a lot for her to lose her appetite, but the point was the same.  

                Blaise brushed the crumbs off of his hands and stood up.  "I had a lovely time, Ginny; we should do it again sometime."  He grinned at her and walked to the Slytherin dorms.

**◊ ◊ ◊**

                The next day, Blaise and Hermione were outside working on their project by the lake.  However, like the day before, they were having a hard time keeping their minds on their work.  Today, though, their topic of conversation was much lighter than the Dark Lord.  They were lying flat on their backs, looking at the clouds.

                "There's a boat!" Blaise said, pointing.  

                "Ooh, ooh, there's Hogwarts!" Hermione announced.

                "Where?" Blaise asked.  

                "It's over there; you have to squint a bit," she answered.

                Blaise squinted at the sky.  "I still don't see it," he complained.  

                Hermione grabbed his hand and traced the castle out in the sky. "There it is."

                "Yeah," Blaise said, "I see it now." Then he looked down to where Hermione was still holding her hand.  She followed his gaze and looked back at him.  

                "Hermione!" The cry came from behind them.  Hermione dropped Blaise's hand, and they both turned around.  

                "Harry! Ron! What are you doing here?" Hermione asked, standing up.

                _Bloody Gryffindors, Blaise thought to himself.  Out loud, he said, "Harry, Ron, how are you two doing today?"   _

                "Just fine, thanks," Harry said darkly.  Hermione, _his_ Hermione had been holding Blaise's hand.  He knew his suspicions had been correct.  They were together.  An item. Of two. Two people that did not include him.  

                "Well, you two clearly have work to do.  Me and Ron will just leave you alone, then."  Ignoring Ron's protests, Harry began to pull Ron back towards the castle.  "Not now, I need your help," he muttered under his breath. 

                Ron nodded, understanding.  He turned back to Hermione.  "See you in the common room."  Harry waved and hurried Ron along faster.  

                "What on Earth is Harry's problem?" Hermione wondered aloud.  

                "Hmm… I need to speak with him," Blaise said, also wondering about Harry's curtness.  He stood and jogged up the grassy hill to catch up with Harry and Ron.  

                "Harry! Harry, a question," he said when he reached.

                "Yeah, go ahead…" Harry answered, his voice guarded.  

                "About Hermione… is there anything between you two?  Or, has there ever been anything?" Blaise bit his lip, an odd and slightly childish gesture.  

                "No, there never has been," Harry answered honestly, though it was only a half-truth.  _Thanks to you.  _

                "Excellent," Blaise said smiling.  "I was a little worried there; after all you're _Harry Potter_.  No one has a chance compared to you."  

                "I wish," Harry said, smiling slightly. "Anyway, me and Ron have a game of chess, so I'll let you get back to Hermione."  

                "Bye, then," Blaise said, turning and hurrying down to where Hermione sat.  

                "I hate that smarmy jerk," Harry muttered, starting to walk again.  

                "I never knew you fancied Hermione, mate!" Ron said, staring at his friend in shock.  

                "You didn't know _you_ fancied her, Ron," Harry replied, grinning.

                "So… what are you going to do about it?" Ron asked.  

                Harry looked towards the castle.  "I don't know… but you're going to help me with it."    

**◊ ◊ ◊**

                That night, Blaise was patrolling the halls with Draco, as they were both Slytherin prefects.  

                "I heard you were out by the lake today, getting cozy with the bushy-haired Chipmunk," Draco said, turning to face his friend.  

                "Yeah, what if I was?" Blaise asked, a challenge in his voice.  "And don't call her that!"

                "Nothing, I just thought you had higher standards than that," Draco replied.  

                "My standards are fine.  I'm not the one who tolerates Pug-Faced Parkinson, now am I?" Blaise smirked. 

                "At least she's a pureblood.  Even Weasley is better than Granger," Draco said.  

                Ginny, on her way back from the library, stopped short at her name.  

                "Oh, doing detention duties gave you a soft spot for her?" Blaise asked.  

                "God no, Zabini, get a grip!" Draco answered.  

                Ginny made a small growl of indignation.  

                "I never knew you had a red hair fetish, Draco."

                "Yeah, I really have a thing for tall, gangly, freckle-faced _Weasleys, how did you ever know?" Draco said sarcastically.  "And even if I did, at least she's a pureblood, not some teacher's pet, know-it-all Mudbl-" _

                Blaise cut off Draco's insult by dealing a heavy blow to his right cheek.  

                "Zabini, what that hell?" 

                "Never, ever call her that again," Blaise answered, breathing heavily.

                'Which one? Teacher's pet? Know it all? Or Mudblo-"

                This time the hit came to Draco's stomach, knocking the wind out of him.  When he regained his breath, he fought back. 

                "Oh, God," Ginny thought.  "That _bloody_, sodding, arrogant, twitty, asshole!"  

                She turned and left, fuming at the very thought of Malfoy.  

  **◊ ◊ ◊**

I know it's short, and I know it's not that great a chapter, and I apologize sincerely.  So, anyway, to thank my wonderful reviewers!

**Unperfection****: Cliffhangers are such a bitch! But they're so fun to right, so BLEH!**

**Catmint: **Thanks for calling me hilarious!  I'm gonna write more, but it's gonna take a while…

**Kitty Felton; **Yeah, well I ended up dating one of my guy friends… who wears APOLLO AXE!  God I'm like addicted to his smell… *clears throat* Moving on, that's awesome! Me and my friend took a poll of colognes guys wear and we were gonna buy Axe for all the guys who didn't wear any, but we changed our minds… I should buy some for my own personal use… Thanks!

**Bobby: **Thanks!  I didn't update soon.  :-/

**Snolive**; Malice _is_ hotness, but only when it's followed up by sexxi nice Draco.

**Ohepelss**** Oramtnci: LMAO I JUST GOT YOUR NAME! Wow, I'm slow… anyway, thanks for reading and reviewing!**

**Alcapacien**: I took me a long to update, but I did!

**Andrea: **I left ya hanging, didn't I? Oops, sorry!  Thanks for returning to review!

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**Rachey****: D/G is like the King of Ships.  THANKS!**

**Emily22**: Yeah I waited for a really long time… sorry!

**Lady in White: **Thanks!  I always continue, just… after long periods of time. 

**S1lver-3yes: **Thanks!  I'm sorry I didn't hurry. L

**Mgblood**: All of your hinting and nudging and winking did nothing.  Oh well, there's plenty of kickass D/G floating around to keep you busy. 

**Raiinging****: Thanks!  FUNKY that's awesome.  I used to have a shirt that said FUNKY MONKEY on it.**

**Erased Innocence: **Thanks! Yeah, I love it when Draco gets it.  

Thanks for all the lovely reviews!  I can't believe I have 41 now!! I love you all so much, and I'll try to update sooner (and better) but I can't make any promises.  So review some more, and I'll feel loved.  


	5. Ginny and Tonic

**The Axe Effect**

**(The Much Delayed) Chapter 5: Ginny and Tonic**

¤¤¤

Ginny had not walked more than five feet when she stopped short. What Draco needed was to be told off. And not just a simple reprimanding, either. She was talking a full-on, curse word filled, Jerry Springer style bitch out. Digging through her pocket, she came across the Muggle nose clips she had "borrowed" from Hermione, which, though intended to prevent an unpleasant amount of water in the nostrils whiles swimming, was best used (in Ginny's case, at least) to block of her nose so she could smell nothing.

After she put them on, she went rushing back into the corridor where Draco and Blaise were still going at it. Ginny knew Draco deserved as much pain as possible, but she also wanted to put her two cents in. She waited for a few minutes more, relishing in the thorough thrashing Draco was receiving, before intervening. "Blaise! Blaise, where are you?" she called, in an imitation of Hermione's voice that was nearly as good as her Umbridge impression. Blaise stopped immediately.

"We'll finish this later," he promised, leaving on a wild goose chase for Hermione.

"Yeah, that's right, Zabini, run to the Mudblood," Draco called after him. The words were scarcely out of his mouth when Ginny's hand hit him hard across the face. "Ow, Weasley, what the _hell_?"

"Oh, don't act like you didn't deserve it," Ginny said. "You foul, rotten, miserable piece of filth! I am sick and tired of seeing your petty jealousies manifested into insults and violence! You cannot comprehend that someone is better than you at something so you bitch them out and insult them and do whatever you can to bring them up. If you weren't such an _idiot_, then you would realize that the best way to beat them out, if you so desire, is to improve your_self_ so you can! You say the teachers all favor Hermione and Harry- well duh! I don't see you trying at all! Teachers love Hermione because she tries. You just sit there and make snide remarks from the back of the room. Teachers love Harry because he's _good_. You just sit there and use filthy, derogatory language that I won't even say. You know why you're mocking Blaise so much? It's because you don't have anyone special. At all. And you _wish_ you could find someone as amazing as Hermione. But you never will, because any girl as good as her deserves someone better than you."

Draco glowered down at her, his grey eyes smoldering. "Oh, thanks for clearing that up for me, Weasley. I'm glad that you, who's both a year my junior and a _Weasley_, can dissect all my feelings and opinions without speaking to me once. You've really figured me out." With that, he turned and left the room, Ginny staring after him. She turned and left the hall, thinking, _what a git! _ However, she couldn't stop the little thoughts from creeping into her mind about the way his eyes smoldered when he was angry and how attractive it was. _I must find a charm to completely stop up my nose!_

She continued on to the kitchen, desiring the plate of cookies and glass of milk that would calm her down. The first thing she saw when she entered, aside from at least ten house elves begging to serve her, was Blaise Zabini, cool as a cucumber, sipping a lemonade.

Noticing her gaze, he waved at her. "Hullo, Ginny. Fancy seeing you here… again. I stopped of for a bit of lemonade, I'm nutters for the stuff. How are you?"

"Annoyed," she said, sitting down on the table and crashing her hands down, soon followed by her head. "I can't _stand_ that Draco Malfoy!" she seethed. She hadn't really expected to unload her feelings onto Blaise, but, well… he was there. "I saw your fight… and then I went and smacked him across his smarmy face!"

Blaise, in the middle of a sip of lemonade, began to laugh, spraying some of his drink in front of him. "You smacked him? Brilliant… what did he say?"

And so Ginny related what happened. When she finished, Blaise gave her an appraising look. "You're of a different sort, Gin. Draco, I'll bet, has never had a girl speak to him like that before. I'll be damned if he didn't find it intriguing, to say the least."

Ginny was shocked and slightly revolted. "Ugh… I would like Draco to have only COMPLETE contempt for me."

Blaise gave her a look. "Admit it, Ginny. Every girl in school knows he's attractive." He took up a mock swoon. "Those _eyes_, that blond _hair_, his _Quidditch playing body_—you know you see it."

Ginny was laughing at his imitation of the girls of Hogwarts, but something still struck her. She did find Draco (MALFOY!) as cute. Ugh. She swallowed the last bit of cookie and drank her last sip of milk. "A pleasure talking to you, Blaise, but I'm off."

"See you around, Ginny. Oh, can I ask you something?"

Ginny stopped just short of the exit and turned around. "What?"

"Can you not tell Hermione about the fight?" Blaise asked.

"Sure thing." With that, Ginny turned and left.

When she entered the Common Room, she found Harry sitting on the couch. She went to sit next to him, greeting him as she sat.

"Hi, Ginny," he said, looking slightly nervous and slightly unsure.

"Is something bothering you?" Ginny asked, concerned.

"I think I could use your advice…" he said, biting his lower lip.

"Sure. What's up?" Ginny asked, turning towards him, ready to listen.

"I like Hermione. I mean, not like her in the way that I like you, or Ron, or any of my friends. I like her like… a girlfriend."

Ginny's first reaction was happiness. "That's so _cute!..._sorry," she said, noticing Harry's glare. Then she remembered… Blaise.

"The problem is, Blaise Zabini," Harry muttered, voicing her very thoughts.

"I _have _noticed they've been getting closer, Harry." Ginny chose her words carefully, not wanting to hurt him. "But, I could tell she liked you earlier in the year. I'll bet she still does. I think you should talk to her about it."

"No! No… no, that's not wise. Our friendship will be ruined and- and she wants Blaise and it will just be bad, bad, very bad," Harry said, jumping up and pacing.

Ginny held back a giggle as she watched Harry pace and mutter about. "Okay, calm down. I'll talk to her about it, and see how she feels about Blaise and you." She noticed his face, "Don't worry, I won't tell her anything about this talk."

She turned and went up the stairs to find Hermione. _Merlin, this school is becoming a living soap opera!_ She knocked on the door and heard what sounded suspiciously like crying inside.

"Hermione? Are you okay?" There was no answer, so Ginny pushed open the door. Hermione sat on her bed, crying, letting the tears fall onto an open book. Ginny immediately rushed over and through her arms around her friend. She let Hermione cry onto her shoulder for a few minutes, until Hermione pulled herself together and sat back.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Ginny asked, looking at her friend with concern.

Hermione nodded. "I feel so stupid for crying like that… like someone from television. I'm just so _confused_!!"

"What are you confused about?" Ginny asked. Even though she was fairly sure she knew, she thought it best to just ask questions and let Hermione let everything out.

"I thought for so long that I liked Harry. Moreover, I thought that I might love him! But then, I started feeling these things for Blaise and now I just don't know what I want. I think Blaise likes me, too, but who knows about Harry? He probably just thinks of me as a friend."

Ginny was a loss as to what to do. She felt awful for what her stupid prank was doing to her closest friends. "I'm sorry, Hermione. I don't know what to say. I wish I could make things better for you, but I can't. Only you can."

Hermione nodded miserably. "Thanks, Ginny. I need to finish reading this for Transfiguration," she said, indicating the large book on the bed next to her.

"No problem," Ginny said softly, leaving the room and pulling the door shut behind her.

She went back down to the common room, planning on brooding and staring into the fire, mulling these things over, However, before she could sit down, she was accosted by Ron.

"Ginny! Ginny, you have to help me! I have a date on Saturday and I don't know what to do!" Ron said, clearly on the verge of panicking.

"Okay, Ron… calm down. Relax. Breathe. What's wrong?"

"My hair and my clothes and everything!" he answered.

"Okay, let's go upstairs," she consoled. She began to look through his wardrobe, selecting a dark blue shirt and tan corduroys. "Wear these," she instructed.

"And my hair?"

Ginny appraised it. "Wear it like you usually do."

Ron nodded. "What am I supposed to do on the actual date?"

Ginny thought this over. "First, bring some flowers, Lavender likes orchids the best. Ask her where in the village she wants to go; don't go straight to the Quidditch store. If she says she doesn't know, take her to get some Butterbeer, and maybe to Honeydukes? If all else fails, take a walk with her. Above all, be yourself. Just… a more polished you. Don't crack dirty jokes, or anything like that. Oh! And tell her she looks nice when you first see her. Anything else? Hm… if you see Malfoy, keep your temper in check."

Ron nodded. "Okay, I think I can do that. I hope I can."

_Me too_, Ginny thought to herself. Out loud, she said, "Don't worry. You'll be fine."

Feeling slightly drained, Ginny went to her dormitory. Closing the curtains around her bed, she sat crossed legged, resting her elbow on her knee and propping her chin up. She had been more attracted to Malfoy recently. It wasn't just looks, either. She knew he had redeeming qualities- he was smart, athletic, funny at times (if you ignored the fact his humor was directed at insulting her), and cute. _Too bad he's a huge git, or I might actually have feelings for him_, she thought to herself.

¤¤¤

**Pennicat**: I could so see him doing that, and then ranting for like 20 minutes more, and then Shrek would be like, "DONKEY! SHUT UP!" Anyways, thanks.

**Trippygirl20051**: Yeah, me too. I 3 Blaise.

**Sugar-Kat**: I am still alive! 8D. Should I count my lucky stars?

**Totally Sarcastic Sprite**: I did update, soon I can't promise.

**Chickflick004: **All good (or in this case average) things come to an end. BEG MINION BEG!

**Lucianna****:** I know hangs head in shame. I'm sowwy 8'(

**Hermione88220**: Yes, Blaise has actual feelings for her. I have a nice Blaise. That I'm in love with. I think I should kill Hermione off and insert myself in the story…. Nah.


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